Readiness

Readiness seems to imply some kind of fixed state. To prepare is to move building blocks into place - be they resources aligned, knowledge acquired, etc. At a certain point, one moves from preparing to being prepared. Ready.

But what if nothing is, or can be, fixed? What if everything is in constant motion? What if the moment of readiness is just that - a moment? It's as if I took a picture of myself and then told myself that this was me; regardless of the cells in my body that are dying and being born, the experiences that will unfold and shape my worldview, the constellation of emotions, physical sensations, and thoughts that create my reality right now. Or now. Or now.

Worse still: what if I paint a picture of myself and say, "this is how I should be." And then set about arranging the building blocks at my disposal to manifest the concrete reality of this painting. Sure, I may arrive there, but am I foolish enough to believe I will stay there? (For the record: I really am)

Honestly, it's this perpetual motion around us that makes the world so amazing. It’s the very fact that nothing lines up the same way twice that keeps us being bowled over. Wouldn't a sunset just be a sunset if it weren't for this? I mean, seen one, amirite? Wouldn't the entire world make sense? Wouldn't we pretty much always know what was supposed to happen next?

We don't, though. Sometimes we think we do, sure. And sometimes we're right. That's fine. But that's very different than the world being fixed, or our truly being able to be ready for something.

I don't know about others, but I'm finding myself a bit tired of trying to be ready. Of being in search of a fixed state that isn't likely to come. Sure, I'll keep moving the building blocks, I'll keep working toward where I envision myself going, but I'm letting go of the idea of having to have them all in place. 

Perhaps this is a piece of a definition of leadership that's connected more to creating and transforming than producing. Perhaps this is one of those early, first steps toward a greater wholeness.